It's Not Your Job To Make Other People Happy

Mental HealthMindset
Written By Gervase Kolmos

How often do you hold back, soften your words, or twist yourself into knots just to make sure no one gets upset? Whether it’s navigating a tough conversation with your partner, setting boundaries with your kids, or simply taking time for yourself without guilt, many of us have been conditioned to prioritize other people’s comfort over our own truth. In this episode of The Modern Phoenix, Gervase is sharing a behind-the-scenes look at a live coaching call from The Phoenix Revolution, where she explored the deeply ingrained belief that your peace depends on everyone else being okay.

If you’ve ever found yourself walking on eggshells, silencing your needs, or measuring success by how well you "land the plane" in a tough conversation, this episode is for you. You’ll hear real coaching, real breakthroughs, and a powerful shift in how we approach boundaries, self-trust, and standing in our truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

  • Why so many of us feel unsafe when someone is upset with us (and how to shift this pattern)

  • How placing your power outside yourself keeps you stuck in people-pleasing patterns

  • The sneaky ways perfectionism and control show up in relationships

  • What it really looks like to stand firm in your truth, even when it’s uncomfortable

  • A new way to approach difficult conversations that centers your needs, not just theirs

Tired of bending over backwards to keep the peace? Are you curious what it would feel like to burn people-pleasing patterns away and stand in your own truth, powerful and calm in the face of chaos, or other people’s expectations?

It starts with a Soul Shift:

  • The Soul Shift Intensive was created for the woman who is ready to leave behind the stories society has conditioned her to believe, and instead embrace the calm and clarity that comes with being connected to soul wisdom.

  • Check it out here:  https://www.gervasekolmos.com/the-soul-shift-intensive

Did someone mention Pleasure?

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If you’ve ever found yourself walking on eggshells, silencing your needs, or measuring success by how well you "land the plane" in a tough conversation, this episode is for you. You’ll hear real coaching, real breakthroughs, and a powerful shift in how we approach boundaries, self-trust, and standing in our truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.

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